Whether you’re looking for work or looking for new clients, people want to make sure that you are who you say you are and you’ll do what you say you’ll do. One way to assure those considering you or your services is to provide a list of references – satisfied customers or employers that can vouch for your character and skills. But even though this seems like a no-brainer, many people lose out because they choose the wrong people for references.
The wrong reference can make you look unprofessional, unethical and unprepared – and all of this can be done unintentionally from someone who is trying to help you. Yes, this has happened and I’ve seen it. Remember that these days most employers are doing their homework and checking references – ditto on the consumer side when working with a small business. So there’s a good chance the people you list will get called so you’ll want to make sure that these people will represent you well. So let’s start with how to choose the right people as references. Here are some tips:
Avoiding The Angry Response
It’s easy to snap at someone. They may say or do something that bothers you or they may just look a certain way. In this high stress world that many of us live in, people walk around like ticking time bombs, just waiting to explode. But it’s during these moments that we immediately respond with anger that we may say or do something that we regret. And they can hurt, and even irreparably damage, a relationship.
One piece of advice that I share with my speaking classes is that speaking to groups makes you a better communicator during one on one situations. This is because you learn good habits such as thinking before you speak. The communication that typically gets us in trouble happens in these moments where we speak without thinking. So here are three ways to avoid the angry response.
Why We Feel Inadequate
I’ve noticed a trend lately that has started to bother me – too many people telling us that there’s something wrong with us. I don’t know about you but I’m getting tired of it. Everywhere I turn, I see ads or people trying to get me to go along with their scheme to correct the problems in my life. And it’s everywhere from TV and radio to magazines & newspapers to even social media.
I have no problem with people out there trying to make an honest living. But it just seems like there are a lot of people out there with solutions looking for others to push their solutions on – and these people may not even be in need of these solutions.
Why You’re Not Worthless
There’s nothing more saddening to me than to meet someone who truly feels worthless. Sometimes, they’ve made a mistake and have allowed it to eat away at their self-worth. Other times, they missed out on something they were vying for – perhaps they lost on out a client, job opportunity, promotion or something else they were competing for or were bullied or abused to the point where they feel worthless. In most cases, there’s a way to reclaim your worth.
The bottom line is that no matter what happens to us, we still have the same self-worth and potential that we had the day we were born. A great way to visualize this is to imagine you’re a $100 bill (or whatever the greatest value of your country’s circulated money is). When a $100 bill gets soiled, crumpled or ripped it has the same value. Even if it is shredded and then taped back together, you can bring it to a store and purchase $100 worth of goods.
10 Questions to Ask During a Job Interview
Job interviews are full of opportunities for you to shine as a candidate. One opportunity that is frequently missed is when the interviewer asks the candidate if he or she has any questions. I always ask this when I’m done with my questioning because this is what tells me how interested the person is in the position. Yet more than half of the people I’ve interviewed through the years had either no questions or struggled to come up with one.
Can Prayer Make You More Successful?
I had a discussion with some friends recently about prayer and whether or not there’s a point to it. We all agreed that many people misuse prayer for things like getting a good hand at the poker table, winning the lottery or their favorite team winning the Super Bowl. And of course, when it doesn’t work out, they blame whoever or whatever they’re praying to.
It’s interesting because I believe that prayer, when done correctly, can be extremely effective — and not in the big miracles that many televangelists show so you can send them money, but in everyday life. Even if someone is an atheist or agnostic, they can benefit by doing the same process (for example, a lot of the Law of Attraction folks like to pray to the universe).
The Power of Forgiveness
Life is not fair – it never has been nor will it ever be. Unfortunately, one of the most unfair parts of life is that occasionally, we’re treated unfair by others. Sometimes there’s something bothering them and we’re in the wrong place at the wrong time. Other times, the person is simply mean spirited and inflicts pain on whoever he or she comes into contact with. Whatever the case, the worst thing we can do is allow that pain to hurt us over and over again.
Growing up I was the type of person to carry a grudge. When someone wronged me, I wanted revenge – with interest. Yes, it wasn’t enough to simply clear my name or collect my damages, I felt the need to destroy the other person. As soon as someone did something bad to me, I’d start plotting my revenge. It would consume me to the point where I’d be so angry, the mere mention of the person I was angry with would result in a verbal diatribe that could only be described as hateful. I became a miserable person to be around.