Steve’s story is an interesting one – he’s certainly had his ups and downs. The lowest point of his life was sitting in a jail cell at the age of 19 for grand theft auto (and no, he wasn’t influenced by the popular video game). It was a wakeup call for him and he began to make subtle changes such as associating with people that encouraged better behavior, getting his college degree with a double major in record time and then starting up a video game company (something that was also a dream of mine at one point). Steve then became interested in personal development and began spending his time writing articles on personal development. With no special credentials, Steve has managed to become the most successful personal development blogger which is an achievement in itself.

With all that being said, you might wonder what a personal development book by someone like Steve would be like. As someone who has read a number of personal development books, this one can be summed up in one word: unique. With so many personal development books and programs rehashing the same advice , tips and techniques, this book had a refreshing dose of new ideas, suggestions and exercises that I had not seen before. One of my personal favorites is one where you imagine you’re meeting with yourself from five years in the future. You can ask your future self questions and envision what you might become. The second part of the exercise is to meet with yourself from five years ago and have a similar conversation. I found this suggestion extremely effective – especially as I was telling the me from five years ago to hang in there and that it’ll all work itself out in the end. It made the similar advice from my future self seem more realistic and believable.

As for how the book could be improved, a more workbook oriented approach might make it more effective. The problem with many personal development books is that you read them and learn some useful information, but there’s no push to put them into use immediately. Steve does suggest exercises, but it would be more effective if the book had some blank lines after these suggestions that encouraged the reader to fill in some blanks (or grab a sheet of paper and write answers there). The other place I struggled was with the introduction. Steve provides a great overview of his background, but it feels a bit wordy. I can see some people being turned off by Steve’s writing style as it mimics the way he speaks, but I personally prefer that style (and I use it myself).

Overall, the book is well organized and packed with information. If you’d like to give it a look, you can get your copy from Amazon.com
.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Review: Personal Development for Smart People

There are a number of things that cause the fear of public speaking but they generally fall into one of three categories:

1. Fear of the Unknown
2. Fear of Failure
3. Lack of Confidence

With Halloween right around the corner, I couldn’t resist having a little fun and hypothetically giving advice to someone who might consider such a crazy thing. Beware of actual useful advice about dealing with the fear of public speaking creeping up on you.

Fear of the Unknown:

Not knowing who will be in your audience, how they might react and how things may turn out is a legitimate concern that nearly all speakers, including experienced ones, face. Although some might find a mask to be more of a security blanket or perhaps a barrier between the speaker and the audience, the act of hiding behind anything will not change the fact that you won’t know who will show up, how you’ll perform and how the audience reacts to your talk.

Fear of Failure:

No one wants to embarrass themselves, especially in front of a large group of people. But it’s a lot more difficult to embarrass yourself than you think. Speakers tend to forget that in most cases, the audience doesn’t have a copy of your speech to read along with as you speak. Most of the embarrassing moments that I’ve witnessed during speeches have come from poor judgment by the speaker when writing the speech – usually including inappropriate humor or including a questionable topic. People tripping on stage, freezing up or completely botching up their talks are rather rare. More common are losing one’s place, a technical malfunction or mispronouncing a word and in most cases, only the speaker remembers them more than a few minutes after a speech.

Considering that many people who give speeches do not possess the greatest presentation skills, what the speaker perceives as a poor personal performance might be just a typical presentation to the audience. I’ve heard a number of folks through the years say generalized statements like “most speakers are boring.”

So what does wearing a mask buy you? Well, if the audience knows you (or even just your name), they may wonder why you’d want to address them in a silly costume. So although they can’t see you, they still know who you are (especially if you’ve provided a decent speech introduction). Your mask may restrict your view of the audience, but your costume could be a tripping hazard or restrict your movement. So instead of insulating you from failure, it’ll increase your chances.

Lack of Confidence:

It’s tough to watch people with good presentation skills without expecting ourselves to speak that way. Speaking seems like it should be a lot easier than it actually is. Perhaps dressing up like the speaker you admire would channel that person (or possibly fool the audience so the other person can take the blame if things go poorly).

Although lack of confidence does at times have to do with one’s perception of their speaking skills, it also can pertain to a person’s fear that they don’t have the necessary expertise to speak on a particular subject. I suppose that a mask or the right costume could be used to keep notes in a handy place. However, nothing replaces true expertise so keep in mind the concept that Dale Carnegie tried to hit home in his classes that you must earn the right to speak.

Putting it all together:

Of course we all know that wearing your Halloween costume on stage can only make things worse, but I hope this off-the-wall article got you thinking a bit more about your fear or discomfort related to public speaking. To deal with any fear, you need to understand what you fear, motivate yourself to overcome it and then take the appropriate action to overcome it. Although most people know that wearing a costume (or speaking in the dark, etc…) are silly ideas, sometimes they try things like having an alcoholic drink to relax before a speech. This is as big a mistake as coming out dressed up as Count Dracula. Preparing well, practicing enough and putting yourself in the right state of mind are often enough to get you through those first few awkward moments. Then you’ll get comfortable and the rest of your talk will go smoothly.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Should You Give a Speech While Wearing Your Halloween Costume?

If you have young children or are around young children frequently, you’ve probably been amazed at how the little things in life excite them. The first falling leaf in autumn, the first snowflake of winter, a big puddle left over from a rainstorm or ant walking across a window sill can put a huge smile on child’s face (where these very same things can stress out adults). So why not take a look at the world from the eyes of a child every now and then?

Getting that innocent yet optimistic outlook on life is much easier than you think. Look back for that magical time in your life – a time where every day was better than the one before it and everything seemed exciting. The summer of 1984 sticks out in my mind as a time when every day was better than the one before it – it was the summer I mentioned earlier that I spent discovering the woods in my backyard. Let me walk you down Memory Lane.

I was almost 10 years old and my family had just moved from the city to a rural suburb. I spent my days playing with my new friends from my new neighborhood and we didn’t need expensive toys or gear to have fun. Often, the only thing we’d leave our houses with were backpacks filled with lunches (courtesy of mom) and the maps we drew (thanks to tools borrowed from dad). After a day in the woods, we’d all return to our homes for dinner where we’d eat as fast as we could so we could get back outside to play games like flashlight tag. And then after being called in to the house by our parents, we’d go off to bed and then wake up the following day even more excited.

At that stage of my life, it seemed like there was something exciting going on at least every month. Even after summer ended, there was a lot going on. The school year starting meant that my birthday was only a few weeks away (at that age, we all looked forward to birthdays instead of seeing them as a year closer to an age that ends in a zero). The fall was full of festive events and holidays such as apple picking, Halloween and Thanksgiving. Halloween was particularly exciting (what kid doesn’t like free candy?) as opposed to the chore that we see it as adults (we can’t go out, we have to leave the office on time and we need to ensure that have enough candy). Thanksgiving was more than just football and food – it was family, dressing up like pilgrims at school and giving thanks.

Christmas was the best part of wintertime. Putting up the tree and decorating the house was fun. Opening presents was even more fun. There was no holiday rush or last minute shopping trips; instead we’d count down the days until that magic visit from Santa. Lights and decorations meant much more than higher electric bills and we’d actually take the time to appreciate the decorative mastery of our own neighbors as well as homes of folks we didn’t know.

The next big holiday was New Years Eve and that was the night we got to stay up late. Like birthdays, new years were exciting and marked a new beginning as opposed to being a milestone that marks another year of disappointments. The winter had a number of lesser known holidays (unfortunately, most employers don’t close for them as schools do), but also a winter break. The occasional snow storm that would hit the area where I lived meant a possibility of a day off from school but a guarantee that there’d be sledding and snowball wars. There were no worries about how the weather would affect the commute.

The spring brought with it a number of things to look forward to. Easter, little league baseball and longer days were the things that I remember most. But of course, it also meant that the school year was almost over and the best part of the year was about to begin – summer vacation.

Now that we’ve completed this stroll down memory lane, it’s time to get back to the original point. Children and adults look at the same situation and see two completely different things. Imagine how your life would change if you were to look at one of your weekly hassles from the eyes of a child. Even better, imagine how your life would be if you acted like a child every now and then.

The next time you’re stressed out or something in the news gets you down, look at the world from a child’s perspective. I’ll never forget overhearing a conversation one morning when a father was his young son and said something like “oh no, it’s snowing!” The boy asked his dad why he didn’t like snow and the father explained that his long drive into work would be difficult because of the traffic the snow creates. The boy just looked up at him and said “then why don’t you get a closer job?”

Without knowing the father, his situation and what type of work he did, it’s hard for me to judge how difficult it would be for him to find another job. But I do wonder if he ever asked himself that simple question. I know that kids always seem to have all the questions but sometimes they may have the answers as well.

So again, when you’re faced with life’s challenges put yourself in a child’s shoes and look at things from their perspective. What questions would they ask? What solutions would they offer? If you need help trying to get into that frame of mind, then try one of the following activities:

• Sing the A-B-Cs or your favorite song from when you were a child.
• Count to 100 out loud.
• Race someone across a field or in a park (find somewhere that’s green as opposed to paved to ensure that you don’t get severely injured if you fall).
• Get some crayons and some paper and doodle or draw a picture.
• Find some old clothes and play dress up.
• Make up a silly joke and laugh about it.
• Come up with silly names for the people in your life (especially people that cause you stress – just don’t share the names with them).
• Write a poem.
• Pretend that you’re your favorite animal and move around your home making animal sounds.
• Make yourself an ice cream sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top (if you’re watching your weight, make it a small one).
• Watch a kids show or movie (or if you can, get a DVD of a movie or show that you enjoyed as a kid).
• Put on your waterproof boots and jump in a big puddle.
• Build a snowman or have a friendly snowball fight.
• Rake up a big pile of leaves and then jump in them.
• Find a small tree and climb up as high as you can go.
• Explore the woods either in your own backyard or in a public park or forest.
• Go for a swim or go fishing.
• Skip rocks across a pond.
• Make up a silly song describing how you’re feeling at that moment.

Depending on where you grew up and what your own experiences were like, you could probably add to this list. You would be amazed at how these silly activities can snap you out of a bad mood. Physical activities are especially good for this (if you are physically able to do them) as your body releases all sorts of chemicals that give you a natural high. Sometimes, the simple sedentary act of reminiscing is all it takes to pull you out of the doldrums. You know yourself better than anyone else so it’s up to you to figure out what works best for you. Seeing the world through te eyes of a child may not solve all your problems, but it very well could help you get moving in the right direction.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Motivation: The Power of Youth

Reason #1: The Skills are Transferable

The skills that are necessary to be a good speaker including topic selection, determining the goals for your talk and writing your speech so that it’s a hit with your audience can help you even with one on situations. After all, a speech is simply a conversation with an audience.

So by being able to plan out what you’re going to say and effectively communicate it, you’ll be able to perform better in interpersonal situations such as job interviewing, sales and management. Learning how to answer questions during a speech make job interviewing a breeze and being able to speak to groups makes it easy to handle team interviews or pitching your product to a group.

Reason #2: It Provides New Opportunities

Being able to speak to groups effectively opens up doors in the workplace. If other people on your team are unable to speak well to groups, then you’ll get to do the presenting which automatically makes you look like an expert (otherwise, you wouldn’t have been asked to speak). By doing presentations at work, you’ll gain positive exposure with both your peers and those above you on the org chart.

Moving up in the corporate world often means management. With that role comes added responsibilities such as communicating policies and news to those who work for you and communicating status to those above you. In some cases, you be required to speak to the board, shareholders, the media or even the general public. The latter being an incredible career booster because you’ll gain exposure outside of your employer which can help you if you ever want or need to switch jobs.

If you have your own business, speaking at conferences, local business events and community events gets you added exposure as an expert in your industry. In addition to the obvious benefit of reaching more potential clients, you’ll be perceived as an expert in your field. For example, if you’re one of five financial advisors that belong to a local business association and you speak regularly at gatherings and events, you’ll be perceived as the expert of the group because you’re the one who is confident enough to speak on that topic.

If you’re passionate about a cause such as charity or political issue, you’ll reach more people in less time by speaking at local events than you would by going door to door. So not only will you benefit by reaching out to others but so will the cause you’re trying to raise awareness for.

Reason #3: It Raises Your Confidence and Self-Esteem

This is perhaps the biggest benefit of speaking skills as there’s nothing that boosts your confidence and self-esteem more than success. A great way to improve your self-esteem is to look at your successes and your assets. Knowing that you’re excelling in an area which few people feel comfortable and even fewer are successful is like giving your confidence a shot of adrenaline.

This confidence boost is not limited to communication – it can help you when you need to overcome challenges from all aspects of your life. But it does help tremendously when it comes to communication. For example, if you’re comfortable speaking to groups, you’ll come across as more confident in one on one situations such as job interviewing and dealing with difficult people.

So these are just some of the many ways that improving your speaking skills will help you. The benefits of improving certain skills aren’t always obvious so it’s up to us to find ways to move beyond the pack to become successful.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Three Reasons Why You’re Cheating Yourself by NOT Improving Your Speaking Skills

To make a long story short, she was stuck in an individual contributor role when she really wanted to move into management. The single obstacle keeping her out was her fear of speaking to groups. She could contribute to conversations during meetings, ask questions when she was part of a large audience and give her status at her weekly staff meeting to a group of fifteen people. But whenever she was asked to “give a speech” she’d panic and do whatever she could to get out of it. The worst incident happened when she was tasked to give an important presentation to a group of ten people and she was so nervous that she ended up calling in sick that day, causing her boss to scramble to find a replacement.

I asked her how a speech to ten people is so different than her presenting her status in front of a group of fifteen coworkers. She said that one was a speech and the other wasn’t so I had her break it down. The first thing she said was that she had to stand up to give her presentation while she’d give her status sitting down. I asked her if she’d ever get up and use a whiteboard while giving her status and she said that she does from time to time. So again, I asked her how it’s different.

She was beginning to get frustrated so I explained to her that speech is simply a conversation to a group of people. I told her about a time I was in Walt Disney World when a group of tourists began asking me questions about the park. They had overheard me explaining the best times to see certain attractions to my group (I vacation there frequently) so they began asking me for advice. There were eight of them and I gave them my advice and answered questions for about five minutes. I then explained that this was just like a speech since I had an audience, gave an impromptu talk and even had a small question and answer session.

So now the woman began to see my point that it was merely semantics that were causing her a problem. If she thought of something as being a speech, she’d panic but the same exact circumstances where she thought of it as a conversation resulted in no stress. So by simply thinking of speeches and presentations as talks or conversations, she could eliminate half of her problem.

The next thing I mentioned to her was that when she was asked to do a presentation, to take it a step further and consider it a conversation that she’s able to prepare for. When she’s asked questions at her staff meeting, she has to give an impromptu answer which is more difficult than delivering a prepared speech. I told her that knowing this should boost her confidence since she’s already succeeding in this area.

So the point of all this is that people fear public speaking for a variety of different reasons and allowing this fear to get out of control can really limit our personal and professional success. Sometimes, fixing the problem is as simple as looking at things from a different perspective. In all cases, being aware of the problem and what’s causing it is the first step in moving in the right direction.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Her Fear of Public Speaking Ruined her Career

This event is not a sales pitch (the agreement I have with the venue does not allow me to sell anything at the event), it’s a scaled down version of what I teach at my full day workshops and in my courses. At this event, I’ll cover the basics of public speaking including:

• Why people feel discomfort with public speaking.
• How public speaking can help your career or business.
• Public speaking tips that you can put to use right away.

Again, this event is completely free and there’s no need to pre-register. Just show up and bring friends as there will be time for networking afterwards. It would be great to get to meet some of you in person. If you can’t make the event, I’ll have DVDs and CDs of the event ready by year end.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Public Speaking Sucess: Free Public Speaking Workshop

I’ve discussed a few ways to deal with hopelessness in some prior posts, but one of the techniques I’ve found most effective for beating the blues is to look at all the assets we have. Now “assets” is a loaded word – in fact, part of the reason that many people feel down to begin with is that they look at their financial or physical assets from the “glass is half empty” point of view. What we all need to realize is that although our financial and physical assets (such as a home, savings, cars, etc…) do have some importance in our lives (we need shelter, food, transportation, etc…), it’s our assets such as our knowledge, skills, relationships and attitudes that help us when we’re down.

And often, the assets that are most valuable to us and can help us the most are the ones we tend to overlook when times get tough: the love from our families and friends, the freedom to think freely, the ability to acquire new skills and the power of communication to develop new relationships. So here is a non-exhaustive list of some of these assets that we possess:

1. The ability to communicate:

Unless this article has been translated for you, you’re reading this in English so you can communicate in at least one language (and even if it has been translated, you can read at least one language). Being able to read is a great asset as you’ve got instant access to a wealth of knowledge through the books, the internet, newspapers and other written sources.

If you can speak the native language of the country that you live in, that’s a huge plus as well. You’ll be able to develop relationships which are important to achieve success. Even though many things can be accomplished on-line, there’s still a need to interact with people face to face.

If you are able to communicate in more than one language, then that’s a huge plus for you as well. The more languages you can communicate in (and that includes dialects and sign language) the more people you can communicate with. And therefore, the more opportunities you have ahead of you.

2. Your relationships:

Whether you’re looking for work, clients or to expand your knowledge, there are people out there that can help you. But the real benefit of relationships are the interpersonal bonds that you build with the people you are close to. Whether it’s a spouse, significant other or loving child giving you a loving gaze or a coworker congratulating you on a job well done, the people around you can have tremendous positive effects on you.
Even if you have just one person in the world that cares about you, that person is an asset. But few of us realize how many people really do care about us and the positive impact that our lives have on those around us. My favorite movie is “It’s a Wonderful Life” because of this powerful lesson. In the film, the main character has some bad things wrong with him and wants to take his own life when an angel stops him and shows him what the world would be like had he never been born. I welcome anyone who’s feeling the blues to watch this film.

On a related point, it’s the lack of relationships that give a lot of folks the blues. I witnessed a real life tragic example of this when I was in college. One of my classmates committed suicide after an argument with his girlfriend. Although I didn’t know him well, he and I had mutual friends so I did speak with him on several occasions. I was shocked at the news because I liked him – he was a nice guy.

What so many people who take these extreme measures fail to do is look at the relationships that they do have. It’s easy to sit back and think that because you may not have a significant other or a lot of close friends that no one cares about you, but it’s so untrue. You would be amazed at the amount of people whose lives you positively impact. Here’s a short list: coworkers, associates, colleagues, classmates and neighbors. They may not express it, but you’d be surprised at how many folks would miss you if you were to move to another part of the country or another part of the world.

Even acquaintances, those nameless faces that you see each day as you wait for the bus or train, would miss you. I think most people would be surprised at how many lives they’ve touched through the years. Sit down and really think about it (and make a list, too). Think about all the people you know or come into contact with daily. Include people that you have pleasant interactions with each day, even if you don’t know their names. You’ll be surprised.

3. Your Skills

We all have “technical skills” – the skills that employers look for such as organizing an event, working with computers or selling products. These skills may or may not go stale (especially with technology that’s rapidly changing) but many of the fundamentals will help you learn the latest trends.

But there are some basic skills that we all have and these skills can help us in the toughest times. These skills are interpersonal skills (getting along with others, managing, negotiating, etc…), communication (speaking, writing, etc…) and the ability to learn. You may have others such as:

• Being able to develop a budget.
• Knowing how to drive a car.
• Knowing how to get the best price on certain items.
• Knowing how to make friends.
• Being able to travel on a budget.
• Planning skills.
• Artistic skills.
• The ability to carry a tune.

You may not believe me until you try it for yourself, but I encourage you to spend fifteen minutes making a list of all the things that you can do. Whether it’s put together your kids toys or organize a shoe closet, add it to your list. Now of course, being to line up your shoes by color might not be a marketable skill, but being able to do this task means that you have discipline, the ability to focus on a task and some organizational skills. All of which are assets and will help you with the final group of assets.

4. Your Experiences

No one else has ever had the same set of experiences as you and no one else ever will. Keep that in mind because you bring a lot more to the table than you might expect. Our experiences, successes especially, are huge assets because they impact our judgment and our decisions. When you’re about to do something, you’re often able to predict the result (provided you put the thought into it) based on past experiences. Now some of the parameters of the situation may different which could produce an unexpected result, but you know, for example, that if you put your car in drive and then press the gas pedal, you’ll go forward (unless, of course, that there’s a problem with the car).

I personally like to focus on my big success through the years when I think about my assets: getting a great job in a tough job market, selling to that big client, getting the date of my dreams, etc…. In my public speaking classes, I talk about using small success to create snowball effect with your confidence. You’ve succeeded in the past, you can succeed in the future if you choose to.

So again, spend some time reliving the victories and successes of the past and list them out. Keep this list handy the next time you’re unsure of yourself.

In closing, I hope you’re able to look back at your life and see what you have going for you. It’s more than just thinking positively – you have to focus on what you’ve got going for you and use it to build your momentum.

Post from: Overnight Sensation

Motivation: How to Feel Better About Yourself