None of us like the feeling of being rejected but it’s even more difficult to swallow when something like friendship, which has a relatively low social risk, is rejected. With much of our social interactions moving on-line and the anonymity of the internet, this type of rejection is becoming especially common. But it being common doesn’t necessarily lower the impact it has on our self-esteem.
I once overheard a conversation where someone was communicating negative feedback. The only thing was the person giving the feedback allegedly wasn’t the one who felt that way – he had overheard someone else and wanted to share the criticism with the person it was directed towards. The person who received the feedback, which was a bit on the harsh side, replied back with “she’s my friend, she’d never say something like that about me or anyone else.”
Okay, it’s time for another pet peeve of mine that has been rearing its ugly head in recent months. I can understand people using phrases like “unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d know about …” in conversations with people they have rapport with. But lately, I’ve seen these snide remarks used in business situations.
In addition to publishing my own e-zine, I also subscribe to a number of others in the topics that interest me. In the last month or so, I’ve seen people use these idiotic and condescending phrases in their e-zines. First, people were using it in reference to Susan Boyle’s rise to stardom. Now people are using it to describe the news regarding the recent deaths of celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Ed McMahon and Farrah Fawcett.
You have a lot to say and are enthusiastic about what you have to say, yet you’re lacking one key ingredient – no one can understand you because you mumble. You may mumble and not even be aware of it – although a good indicator is when people are always asking you to repeat yourself because they didn’t hear or understand what you said.
Mumbling is caused by a number of things such as trying to talk too fast, not opening your mouth all the way while speaking, blocking your mouth, not speaking loud enough, or having a dry or sore mouth. Unless there is something physically wrong with your mouth, the key to dealing with mumbling is practice. Just like people can control their stuttering with practice, a little effort and awareness goes a long way with mumbling. Here are two easy ways to deal with mumbling.
Read out loud:
If there was one question that I knew would immediately infuriate many of my teachers and professors, it was this one. There were always people that missed class, would ask this same question (even though the instructor blew up at the last person that carelessly asked it) and get an earful. And rightfully so – it implies that it’s possible that nothing was missed which translates to the class or meeting is a waste of time. Even if that’s the case, it’s still impolite.
Do as I say, not as I do. It seems like everyone is guru these days yet many of these folks don’t follow their own advice. For example: the Facebook guru that tells people to “always include a personal message when adding someone as a friend” yet rarely does that herself. One of my biggest frustrations which many so-called speaking experts is that they tell people that they should do things when giving a speech, yet they clearly don’t follow these rules themselves when they’re “teaching” this advice.
Have you ever wished you could go back in time and do things differently? Sure, most of us do. I recently came across a cereal box that had list on the back of “18 things to do before you turn 18.” This list got me thinking for two reasons. First, most of the suggestions (bungee jumping, create a new word, go backstage at concert) were useless in terms of helping people get the most out of life at that age. Second, I thought about what I would tell myself if I could go back in time.