The word “but” often causes trouble in interpersonal communication. Consider the following statement: “You did a great job, but….”

Of course, you expect to hear something negative next and the part about doing a great job is forgotten. Instead, try this “You did a great job, and if we could just fix this one issue, things will go even smoother next time.” Another alternative would be to replace the first comma with a period and delete the “and.”

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One word can turn an impotent goal into an effective goal. Consider the following “goals”:

• I’d like to be financially independent.
• I want a bigger house.
• I hope I get promoted this year.

Just changing a word or two makes your goals more effective. Consider these changes:

• I absolutely must become financially independent.
• I must have a bigger house.
• I must get promoted this year.

Adding “must” makes your goal more definite. Committing to a date is the final step of defining a goal. Exact dates are better than “within 5 years” or “by next November” as you may have forgotten the date you set your goal.

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