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One common mistake that many novice and some “expert” speakers make is to ignore the time limit. Most offenders only go over by minute or two where others wait until they’re practically booed off the stage to finish up.
In general, this is very poor practice and if you’re being paid to speak or even speaking for free for a non-profit, it unlikely that you’ll be invited to speak for them again. If you’re giving a presentation at work, your co-workers may feel become annoyed at you. Think about when you’ve been in the audience and the presenter went way over time. It’s never viewed positively.
It’s so easy to put things off. Something more exciting can come up or maybe you’re just feeling lazy. Why do something right now when you can do it later? How can one procrastinate, let me count the ways:
- Putting something important off to watch TV, surf the web, play video games, etc…
- Instead of doing what you know deep down needs to be done, you pretend something else is a higher priority and do that task instead.
- Putting something you don’t want to do off indefinitely with the hope that you may never have to do it.
The word “but” often causes trouble in interpersonal communication. Consider the following statement: “You did a great job, but….”
Of course, you expect to hear something negative next and the part about doing a great job is forgotten. Instead, try this “You did a great job, and if we could just fix this one issue, things will go even smoother next time.” Another alternative would be to replace the first comma with a period and delete the “and.”
One word can turn an impotent goal into an effective goal. Consider the following “goals”:
- I’d like to be financially independent.
- I want a bigger house.
- I hope I get promoted this year.
Just changing a word or two makes your goals more effective. Consider these changes:
- I absolutely must become financially independent.
- I must have a bigger house.
- I must get promoted this year.
Adding “must” makes your goal more definite. Committing to a date is the final step of defining a goal. Exact dates are better than “within 5 years” or “by next November” as you may have forgotten the date you set your goal.
My friend Mark once told me a way to help me achieve my goals: each day, write down 20 things that you can do to that will help you move closer to your goal. Mark had used this technique while earning his MBA when his goal was to win a contest at his school. He did this diligently every day and sure enough, he won.
Through the years, I’ve played around with this technique and created some rules to make it most effective. Here’s what I’ve come up with:
Do you ever look back on a time in your life where you regretted not taking a risk? Personally, I can think of several opportunities I missed out on ranging from not asking someone out on a date to not taking a chance and starting a dot com business when those businesses were thriving.
Chances are, there’s some kind of fear or discomfort that’s separating the current you from the you that you want to become. If your goal is to find an ideal mate, maybe it’s fear of rejection or discomfort of trying something new like speed dating. If your goal is to get promoted, perhaps it’s fear of the unknown – you don’t know what to expect and if you can handle it.
Something I see all too often is people allowing their political beliefs to ruin their relationships. I’ve heard people in business settings say things like “I can’t stand him, he’s a Republican” or “don’t waste your time talking to that Liberal.”
Those of us that are interested in politics have some strong beliefs that we’re really passionate about. And yes, it’s fine to think that people on the other side of a particular issue are wrong. But don’t let it get in the way of your friendship or relationship.
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